Why do people lie? I don't mean occasional, dumb white lies. I mean big ones. Chronic lies. The kind that you can't possibly reasonably expect to never get caught in.
They will catch up to you eventually. At least some of them. Enough of them that I know to regard the rest of what you say with suspicion.
It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for the fact that some of those lies hurt people. Mutual friends of ours. Sometimes where I'm being used as an alibi. Sometimes where I'm pitted against someone. Sometimes (actually, quite often) to the point where I'm forced to choose between two people. And then the liar gets cut out of my life. Because let's face it: I'm not naive; just very willing to give people the benefit of the doubt for a while or bestow forgiveness.
I still love those people and wish them well for the most part (well, most of them, but perhaps not all). But it's really quite impossible to maintain close friendships with people like that. For one thing, they're draining. And for another, there's always consequences. Their lives are constant train wrecks... and why? Bad decisions. When you lie that much, there's bound to be a few that come back and bite you on the ass. The last thing I want is to be caught by a piece of shrapnel when your life explodes (again).
I'm not saying that I'm not guilty of busting out the popcorn when drama springs up... but I prefer my drama at a distance. Like in random groups on Facebook. And yeah, no friends group or family is completely devoid of disagreements or drama or whatever. But generally it's silly things... like my cousin forgetting to keep it a secret that I snuck my bike into the trunk of mom's car. Or fighting with my best friend over some obscure philosophical point, slamming the phone down, and then messaging him five minutes later on Facebook because something funny happened. Normal shit. Harmless shit. Not shit that permanently affects people's lives.
I just don't understand those kinds of people. I don't understand how other people keep those kinds of people closely in their lives. And in some ways it's quite a shame because so many of these people were fun, charismatic friends whose company I enjoyed, who made periods of my life brighter until their shit caught up with them and it spilled over into my world.
Perhaps I could salvage these friendships if only any of them would come clean about their lies, to admit they had a problem. But thus far, I can only think of one friend who's done so, at least partially. I can't say we're particularly close friends, but at least they're still in my life.
They will catch up to you eventually. At least some of them. Enough of them that I know to regard the rest of what you say with suspicion.
It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for the fact that some of those lies hurt people. Mutual friends of ours. Sometimes where I'm being used as an alibi. Sometimes where I'm pitted against someone. Sometimes (actually, quite often) to the point where I'm forced to choose between two people. And then the liar gets cut out of my life. Because let's face it: I'm not naive; just very willing to give people the benefit of the doubt for a while or bestow forgiveness.
I still love those people and wish them well for the most part (well, most of them, but perhaps not all). But it's really quite impossible to maintain close friendships with people like that. For one thing, they're draining. And for another, there's always consequences. Their lives are constant train wrecks... and why? Bad decisions. When you lie that much, there's bound to be a few that come back and bite you on the ass. The last thing I want is to be caught by a piece of shrapnel when your life explodes (again).
I'm not saying that I'm not guilty of busting out the popcorn when drama springs up... but I prefer my drama at a distance. Like in random groups on Facebook. And yeah, no friends group or family is completely devoid of disagreements or drama or whatever. But generally it's silly things... like my cousin forgetting to keep it a secret that I snuck my bike into the trunk of mom's car. Or fighting with my best friend over some obscure philosophical point, slamming the phone down, and then messaging him five minutes later on Facebook because something funny happened. Normal shit. Harmless shit. Not shit that permanently affects people's lives.
I just don't understand those kinds of people. I don't understand how other people keep those kinds of people closely in their lives. And in some ways it's quite a shame because so many of these people were fun, charismatic friends whose company I enjoyed, who made periods of my life brighter until their shit caught up with them and it spilled over into my world.
Perhaps I could salvage these friendships if only any of them would come clean about their lies, to admit they had a problem. But thus far, I can only think of one friend who's done so, at least partially. I can't say we're particularly close friends, but at least they're still in my life.
