Constantine (Spoilers for Episodes 1 and 2)

As some of you might know, I am terrible about keeping up with TV shows.  I DVR them and then watch them like a year later.  I am still a season behind on Teen Wolf.  And I'm pretty sure there's some new My Cat From Hell hanging out on the DVR.  So for me to be on episode 2 of Constantine is a pretty impressive feat.  I might even finish getting caught up this week (if our cable and internet stop having outages).

Well, of course with this being a show about John Constantine, I have some thoughts.  Opinions, really.  Strong opinions.  But I'm only two episodes in so I don't have an overwhelming amount to say yet.

Firstly, why are they pronouncing his name that way?  I can understand the Americans bollocksing it up... but shouldn't John himself be pronouncing it with the long "i"?  That struck me as really weird.

The first episode was solid.  They must have blown a fortune in special fx.  It was downright movie quality.  I don't expect the future episodes to keep up with that (for one, they'll most likely concentrate on just one monster-of-the-week anyway), but just knowing that they'll be using quality special fx when they do use them and not some hokey shit is a relief.

The story was pretty good.  I would have liked to know a little more about Jasper but there wasn't much room with all the introductory stuff going on.  Liv was a good character.  I actually liked her a bit, but I'm also insanely glad they went with Zed instead.  Having a naive kid as a sidekick would have completely changed the tone of the show.  Not that you couldn't make a good show out of that... but that show wouldn't be Hellblazer.  You could see it towards the end middle/end of the episode how a show like that would have gone... the wide-eyed ingenue constantly interrupting the flow in order to marvel at something, be skeptical, have questions, get kidnapped, etc.  The focus of the show would have shifted to her experiences because she's "relatable" or some nonsense.  It would have been dragged down into "family friendly" land and never recover.  Yeah, no thanks.  I want to see the world through John's eyes and get in his head.  I don't need another character to bridge some non-existent gap between us.  So good on them for bringing in an adult like Zed instead.

Random thought: "Zed" is really just the letter "Z" in the British alphabet.  So now that our lovely Mary Martin is an American, shouldn't she be calling herself "Z" or "Zee" instead?  Or why not make her a British ex-pat if they wanted to keep the name?  It just doesn't make much sense.

But back to episode 1, my only complaints were some pacing issues, acting issues, the way a particular line was said.  Minor quibbles really for a brand new show where everything and everyone is still gelling. Also, thank god Chas lived.  I, and every other Hellblazer reader, would have flipped their shit if one of the most important (and long lived) people in John's life had gotten killed off in the first episode.  And he's an actual adult this time and not Shia LeBouf!

Episode two was a bit different.  There was some awkward teasing of a future romance between John and Zed, which felt like the writers just crammed it into the script after the fact.  Which would make sense if they had originally written this script with the Liv character in mind.  There were a few parts that felt like they were meant for Liv.  Mostly I really like John and Zed together.  I think they work well as partners.  But I'm not really feeling them as romantic partners yet.  I think perhaps the way it was scripted was just too hamfisted.  I know in the comics Zed was instantly attracted to John... but like there are ways to portray an instant attraction believably and this just wasn't one of them.  It wasn't just a lack of chemistry, but  was full of complete and total awkwardness.  But platonically, I think they're fabulous together.

There were moments at the coal mine where the cinematography made me think of MacGyver.  It reminded me that this was a weekly tv show in the strongest way possible.  But other than those few moments, I remained immersed in the fantasy world.  Still, it gave me the uncomfortable worry that the show might become just another generic supernatural show, albeit one with a Constantine flavor, rather than a TV adaptation of Hellblazer.

The Coblynau (Knockers, really) were a really great pick.  Interesting lore that has ties to Pennsylvania and the UK so it makes perfect sense that John would know all about them and that they'd be in an American mine.  Kudos to whoever researched that one.  This part of the plot was thoroughly enjoyable.

The storyline about the Romani woman... not so much.

I don't understand what a Romani woman would have to do with (primarily) Welsh spirits.  Why not make her Welsh?  Maybe some sort of Celtic druid?  I mean... something to tie her to one of the cultures these things actually come from.

And then the line: "There's nothing blacker than gypsy magic."

FOR FUCK'S SAKE, REALLY?!

Look, I haven't read every Hellblazer book out there yet.  I've only read a little bit with Zed, and that was the newer stuff where she's older.  But I think I've read enough TPB's to say that John Constantine is NOT racist.  This line made me cringe so fucking hard.  I can't even.

AND... not to distract from the racism of the line, but it's also terribly inaccurate drivel conjured up by old timey racists and xenophobes and perpetuated by modern media.  John Constantine, Mr. anti-capitalist anarcho-punk chaos magician himself, would not actually believe such bullshit.  One of the things I appreciate about the comic book is that the (magic) tech is usually well-researched and doesn't just play into cliches about what non-practitioners believe thanks to wildly inaccurate TV shows, movies, and books.  John should be the one correcting these stereotypes and inaccuracies, not perpetuating them.  This was just painful.

And to MAKE IT WORSE... the show heavily hinted that the Romani wife was abused by her husband.  It was never shown on screen, just implied by the way she cringed and shrunk in on herself as the husband demanded food and used his body posture to intimidate her.  And more than once it was stated that there was a blackness or evil rising up that was twisting things.  John knew that she was being twisted and manipulated by this evil... that it was using her rage at her abuser to provoke her towards evil magic.  And I'm pretty sure he got enough hints during the bathroom scene to know she had been duped and abused by this asshole.  Which is why the ending where he lets her abuser's spirit drag her down into the earth is SO FUCKING DISTURBING.

Look, even if she was for sure a lost cause and needed to be dealt with "permanently", you should have picked a different fucking way.  This ending was so stomach-turning.  It's a complete insult to anyone who's been the victim of domestic violence. 

Epiphany does not approve.

I was going to end this on a positive note, but now I'm quite upset again and don't remember what it was.

I'm not giving up on the show yet... I have about 5 more episodes DVR'd I believe.  I'm hoping there was enough outrage that it knocked some sense into the writers.  I guess we'll see.  I just really hope they the powers-that-be don't give up on John Constantine/Hellblazer as a franchise.  Because I absolutely believe that the real John Constantine from Hellblazer would be a hit with viewers... but if this show doesn't pan out, it'll be because of racism, sexism, and bad writing; not anything canon from the comics (because the so-called "offensive" shit that happened in the comics wouldn't make it to network TV anyway).

Anyway, it's time to watch another episode.  Let's see how this one goes.


Edit - My friend asked me how I would have resolved the episode.  That's a fair question.  And easy to answer.  There was a ton of completely innocent miners (and other not-as-innocent people from the mining company) that she killed with her magic.  John could have called upon them as a group to take their vengeance.  Same basic plot, but nothing to make me want to rage-quit.  There was absolutely no need to call upon the abusive husband specifically. 

As my friend pointed out, John fucks up a lot in the comics.  Buuuutttt... his fuck ups get called out or bite him on the ass.  There is always a sense that the comic writers are aware that he did a bad thing.  But there was absolutely no sense of that in this episode.  I feel like the tv show writers were not expecting this to be offensive at all.  (This isn't an HBO show, after all).  I will gladly eat my words if the writers punish him for it in the next episode or two (ie the ones that were filmed before fan feedback).  But I wouldn't count on it.  I'm 99.999999% sure this episode was a one-off, monster-of-the-week sort of thing and that the writers were completely oblivious to the sexism, misogyny, and racism they conveyed, not just in John's actions but in the depiction of the wife character herself.

Ya know, I think it says something rather negative about our society that we can have a storyline approved where the main character facilitates the revenge of an abusive husband upon his battered wife with no negative consequences or judgment, but everyone freaks out at the thought of him smoking (though that appears to be a non-issue now) or being bisexual (not holding my breath for this to get addressed).

Comic Books and Clothes (beware of spoilers)

So, some good news today!  I woke up yesterday morning to an email that said my Heavy Red re-order had shipped!  And it's due in on Monday!!!  I can't wait for tomorrow now (if only I didn't have to go to work).

I've started reading Saga by Brian K. Vaughn.  So far so good... but there's still a few tropes present that mark it as the work of a male author.  Like we are shown that The Will is a "good guy" (or at least an anti-hero) because despite his negative qualities, he makes it his mission to free a young girl from sexual slavery.  Don't even get me started on Sextillian.  The other thing I'm concerned with is Gwendolyn, though I haven't gotten that far yet.  Visually, she's stunning.  She's quite possibly more beautiful than Alana, or at least on par with her.  But from my understanding of the Moonies (based on Volume 1), I thought they were more animalistic.  At least Marko has goat ears... but all Gwendolyn has are horns - horns which make her look more like a hot succubus than an animal-based alien race.  But I've only seen the one picture of her online since I haven't gotten to her appearance in the comic yet.

The story itself is engaging thus far.  The social commentary on war, religion, politics, and otherness is good, if occasionally strained.  The characters are often a tad more vulgar than I think is needed... regardless of race or gender.  It's as if this universe defaults on a certain level of crassness, which comes off as strange to me.  The only non-vulgar characters so far are background characters.  Shouldn't there be some main characters that are at the other end of the spectrum too?  Perhaps the intention is to showcase the effects of war on the inhabitants' psyches... but my grandfather served in WWII without losing his sense of self or decorum.  In fact, he joined the fight before he was even 18 by lying about his age to the recruiter.  But getting off this tangent- it just seems more like juvenile crassness than war-hardened vulgarity anyway.

This is probably starting to sound like I don't even like the book, huh?  I have a bad tendency of doing this.  I do actually like the book.  I'm admittedly on the fence about some stuff, but that's part of why I'm eager to read Volume 2 and see how things progress.  I really like Hazel and Izabel and Lying Cat. Alana and Marko are strong, interesting leads.  There's good pacing and suspense.  And the author does a good job of getting you attached quickly to characters that expire before the end of the Volume 1.  I really appreciate the way that motherhood in never shown as a detriment to Alana's character.  She remains both mentally and physically strong.  And the baby is portrayed well.  She doesn't get cast into obscurity the way some authors treat children or animals characters.  Nor does she get more attention than she should (no projection of adult characteristics or abilities on her).  The first volume talks about a lot of characters I can't wait to meet.  Everyone from Heist to Even!  Also, and I can't stress this enough, the artwork is absolutely breath-taking.  I adore Fiona Staples' work!

So... getting Volume 2 is my comic book priority at the moment.  I'm actually pretty lackluster about comic books right now due to the ending of Hellblazer and X-Factor.  I'm actually still waiting on the last issue of X-Factor since there seems to have been a mix-up with my pull list or I lost a bag.  Not really sure.  The ending of Hellblazer hurt a lot though.  I'll be brief since I really need to get dinner soon.  I didn't think it was the right ending.  Up til now, Epiphany had been through hell and back to be with John, to prove she was an equal capable of surviving the horrors of his life.  That's why he conceded to marriage.  But in the end, he pulls the trope of "it's too dangerous for you to come with me" and she caves.  Just like that.  BULLSHIT.  While I can see John resorting to this paternalistic "for your own good" savior complex routine, I cannot reconcile Epiphany just fucking bending over for it.  She's too strong of a character to put up with that kind of bullshit from John.  Even the horrors of what she went through surrounding John's death and her seeking solace in John's nephew were in no way anything all that out of the ordinary that would give me reason to believe she'd had a change of heart.  John's death/disappearance isn't enough for many of his adversaries to leave Epiphany alone (take Julian coming after Epiphany as an example) so it's not like she's that much safer on her own.  In fact, hiding out in that little Irish town seems a helluva lot safer than Epiphany staying in the big city and staying on everyone's radar.  Not that I think John would necessarily have the foresight to see this, but Epiphany should have been so perceptive. 

Now, if John had left in the middle of the night with nothing but a letter to Epiphany, leaving her no choice in the matter, then I would accept this ending.  (Especially if Epiphany had found a way to secretly follow him and call him out on his bullshit.)  Or if John had reasoned that taking Epiphany with him would have made it easier for his enemies to track him down because everyone knew she was alive, so if she suddenly disappeared it would be suspicious... that I could accept as a reason for them to split up.  But that's not how it's nuanced.  John just wakes up and realizes that keeping Epiphany with him means she'll be caught in the crossfire with his enemies some day in the future.  (Didn't we already get over this shit before the wedding?)  There's never any thought as to how bad shit's going to find him in this tiny Irish town, as the whole purpose of going there was to live out the rest of his days in complete mundanity, never being discovered and avoiding magic at all costs.  You can't just say that it'll suddenly be dangerous if Epiphany tags along unless you explain why (which I think I did a nice job of just a moment ago).  That's asinine! 

I mean, I'm sure Epiphany would be bored to death in a place like this, much as John seems to be... but she'd be living out the rest of her days in peace with the man she loves.  Shouldn't she at least have that choice?  Why is she suddenly a coward for whom their love is not strong enough?  I will reiterate that it makes more sense for her either to pursue John, to believe that staying put is protecting John, or for her to never be given a choice at all.  Anything else is character assassination.  I strongly feel that the author took her completely out of character merely to advance the plot and give the book a poetic ending rather than a realistic one based on where the characters' were taking it.  Instead of acknowledging John's growth as a character or the series' growth into new territory, they slaughtered the "newness" whole sale and brought the story back to its roots for an ending that was practically a retcon, leaving Epiphany and fans of the recent changes behind as casualties of war.  As if the end of the series wasn't bittersweet enough, this turned it to simply bitter.