So my mother decides she wants to order a replacement light for her makeup mirror. It's a special size and shape so she has no choice but to use the internet to find one. That was her first mistake...
My mom finds one on Amazon, but she doesn't want to use my account (finally!) so she has to make her own account. I guess, according to her, I was supposed to show her how, but she never remembers when I'm over to visit.
Anyway, she brings the computer into the kitchen while I'm finishing dinner and tells me how it won't let her make a new account. I find this hard to believe, but I ask her to explain. She claims that every time she tries to make a new account, it gives her my account and all these messages that her email is already tied to an account. Well, that gets me wondering if her email was somehow tied to my account from back when I was under 18.
I ask her to click the "create account" link. She clicks it and everything works fine. She's able to create her new account. "But it didn't do that when you weren't here!" she cries. It took me a minute but I realized what had been happening earlier is that the browser was auto-filling in my email address when she was undoubtedly clicking the "log in" button instead.
OK, so now she has an account. She's all set, right? Ha. Ha ha. HAHAHAHAHA.
The light is already saved in her cart so she proceeds to checkout. She's laboring painfully on the payment page. I start to pace and peek over her shoulder, to ensure she doesn't do something stupid like send a million dollars to a Nigerian scam artist.
"I'm not stupid." Oh? "The reason I go so slow is not because I don't know what I'm doing but because I can't see." She's totally wearing her glasses FYI. "When you get old you just can't see these little things." Uh huh...
I squint a little at the computer screen. "Mom, your name isn't 'Vias'."
Seriously... "The 'name on card' isn't Visa either. It's YOUR name. You type your name there." So much for not being able to see.
We finally get through the payment and she gets to the receipt screen. She proceeds to bookmark it. "Mom, what are you doing?"
"I'm bookmarking this page in case I don't get the email."
"Mom, those expire after a while. Why don't you just print the page?"
"No, it's never expired for me before. I don't want to print it."
"Fine...................... Well, why don't you just open a new tab and see if you've gotten the email yet?"
"Huh?"
"Click the plus sign! It opens a new tab in your browser. You can check your email WHILE keeping this receipt page up!" I'm close to hyperventilating at this point... trust me, reading a typed out version does not do justice to the actual experience of dealing with my mother.
"I didn't know you could do that." Of course not.
So we go into her email and she starts bitching about all the spam emails she gets from various online shopping sites. I can sympathize. I've had to unsubscribe from a lot of companies I really like because I just can't keep up with the volume of useless emails they send me. So I suggest that she lets me help her unsubscribe from their email lists.
"No. I want to order from them someday."
"Mom... you don't need to be on their mailing list to order from their website. Just let me unsubscribe you!"
She proceeds to delete the email and gets all flustered. "No no. I don't want you to touch anything. I have my reasons." Which I'm pretty sure is code for 'I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.'
Once again I have lost the battle of the internet to mom.
My mom finds one on Amazon, but she doesn't want to use my account (finally!) so she has to make her own account. I guess, according to her, I was supposed to show her how, but she never remembers when I'm over to visit.
Anyway, she brings the computer into the kitchen while I'm finishing dinner and tells me how it won't let her make a new account. I find this hard to believe, but I ask her to explain. She claims that every time she tries to make a new account, it gives her my account and all these messages that her email is already tied to an account. Well, that gets me wondering if her email was somehow tied to my account from back when I was under 18.
I ask her to click the "create account" link. She clicks it and everything works fine. She's able to create her new account. "But it didn't do that when you weren't here!" she cries. It took me a minute but I realized what had been happening earlier is that the browser was auto-filling in my email address when she was undoubtedly clicking the "log in" button instead.
OK, so now she has an account. She's all set, right? Ha. Ha ha. HAHAHAHAHA.
The light is already saved in her cart so she proceeds to checkout. She's laboring painfully on the payment page. I start to pace and peek over her shoulder, to ensure she doesn't do something stupid like send a million dollars to a Nigerian scam artist.
"I'm not stupid." Oh? "The reason I go so slow is not because I don't know what I'm doing but because I can't see." She's totally wearing her glasses FYI. "When you get old you just can't see these little things." Uh huh...
I squint a little at the computer screen. "Mom, your name isn't 'Vias'."
Seriously... "The 'name on card' isn't Visa either. It's YOUR name. You type your name there." So much for not being able to see.
We finally get through the payment and she gets to the receipt screen. She proceeds to bookmark it. "Mom, what are you doing?"
"I'm bookmarking this page in case I don't get the email."
"Mom, those expire after a while. Why don't you just print the page?"
"No, it's never expired for me before. I don't want to print it."
"Fine...................... Well, why don't you just open a new tab and see if you've gotten the email yet?"
"Huh?"
"Click the plus sign! It opens a new tab in your browser. You can check your email WHILE keeping this receipt page up!" I'm close to hyperventilating at this point... trust me, reading a typed out version does not do justice to the actual experience of dealing with my mother.
"I didn't know you could do that." Of course not.
So we go into her email and she starts bitching about all the spam emails she gets from various online shopping sites. I can sympathize. I've had to unsubscribe from a lot of companies I really like because I just can't keep up with the volume of useless emails they send me. So I suggest that she lets me help her unsubscribe from their email lists.
"No. I want to order from them someday."
"Mom... you don't need to be on their mailing list to order from their website. Just let me unsubscribe you!"
She proceeds to delete the email and gets all flustered. "No no. I don't want you to touch anything. I have my reasons." Which I'm pretty sure is code for 'I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.'
Once again I have lost the battle of the internet to mom.
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