Christmas Shopping with Mom

Me: What's your Amazon password?  Is it X?

Mom: What password?  Oh, it's Y.

Me: No it's not.  Is it X?

Mom: No no, it's Y.

Me: Oh look, X worked.  I told you it was X.

Mom: I don't want you knowing my passwords.

Me: Well if I didn't know them, you wouldn't fucking know them.

Mom: Oh... then what's this password for?

Me: Your account

Mom: What account?

Me: Your Amazon account?

Mom: Why do I need an account?

Me: So you can order things

Mom: Oh, so X is my account?

Me: No, X is your password.  For your account.  You type in your email and password to log in.

Mom: Why do I need a password/account?

Me: You don't want just anyone using your credit card on here.

Mom: My credit card's on there?

Me: No it's not saved yet.  I don't have to save it.  But still, you don't want anyone in your account.  I don't want you in mine.

Mom: Well I'd pay you back.

Me: You wouldn't have to if you used your card with my account.  I just don't want you messing up my settings.  I know you would.

Mom: Oh... so now I have an account?  So now I can order things on my own?

Me: Yes, I made it for you months ago!  Don't you remember?

Mom: No.....

Me: WTF?!  It was a very traumatic experience.  How do you not remember??!

Mom: I don't

Me: You specifically asked me to come over.  You said you couldn't make an account because it kept giving you my email address and saying it was taken.  You don't remember any of this?!

Mom: No

Me: (staring in horror as I realize this is my future: fucking dementia)

Merry Christmas, everyone!